At some point in your life, fitness becomes a greater journey than simply reaching a number on the scale. I think maturity has a way of making us all become so acutely aware of the finality that life is.
I can admit that even for myself, in my early 20s to 30s, I was more concerned with keeping a tight six pack, having no cellulite, and aiming to be as close as I can to look like a superhero.
But now, my days are different.
Yes, keeping in top shape is really a priority for me. I mean, don’t we all want to LOOK good. And in that looking good, we feel good about who we are.
But there is so much more beyond the external that begins to drive you, when superficiality fades.
Training, eating well, establishing better ways of health, and improving your lifestyle become tied directly to how you value yourself.
And that’s what I want to explore with you today…
Knowing Your Worth – As a Woman
When I look back on my life, my gosh…
I face palm at some of the STUPID decisions I’ve made, all based on the fact that I truly didn’t know what my value was as a woman in this world.
Had you asked me this question in the past, I would immediately turn to my accomplishments to equate my value.
The things I’ve done and achieved.
But that’s only one tip of the iceberg in the spokes of our wheel of life.
Your value is about how you feel about yourself.
Your sense of self-worth
It’s about defining and knowing what your purpose is and what drives you. And the qualities that the journey brings out of you along the way.
I have conversations with my clients about this all the time.
But, more crucially in our first conversations as we determine if they are a right fit for my coaching practice. And, particularly as we embark on getting them settled into their new program and way of life.
Here’s the thing…
The main reason why so many cannot stick to a fitness program or lifestyle in the long-term is because they don’t truly understand or connect with their self-worth, and value.
Think about it.
If you truly value yourself, then you understand why leading a healthier lifestyle, eating better, exercising…
How it all is motivated by your ability to commit to you. And that commitment COMES from seeing yourself as worth it.
How To Begin to Discover and Define Your Self-Value
If you allow it, your journey to a better you can improve your life in so many ways. It becomes so much more beyond just fitting into a pair of jeans, or losing an inch or two off your waist.
Your motivation to get up, get moving, to lose the weight, and to embrace better health becomes a part of a narrative that says to the world – I AM HERE.
And I matter!
When you embrace this kind of thinking, what other aspects of your life would improve?
Certainly ALL OF IT. And that’s why, in my opinion, it’s such an important part of your fitness journey to truly reclaim your value.
Here are some ways you can begin doing that right now.
1 – Redefine WHO You Are – Absent of Titles
This is probably one of the most challenging exercises for many. Especially because today’s society places such a huge emphasis on outward appearances as measures of success.
Now, I’m going to bring a little scripture in here for inspiration.
Even if you’re not religious – come with me for a moment on this.
But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
~ 1 Samuel 16:7 New American Standard Bible
In that respect, if you keep looking for your value in what you’ve done, or by what you’ve accomplished, you’ll always feel empty in that quest.
At the end of the day, all titles come to an end.
All accomplishments will fade over time.
But what remains is YOU AT YOUR CORE.
And so, getting super connected to who you are without labels is the first key to your success in fitness – and in finding your value.
I instruct clients to answer the following:
Tell me more about you! What are the ADJECTIVES that describe you at the core? What drives you and excites you? What makes you sad? What words best describe your passion for life, who you are as a woman, and where you wish to be?
I want you to take that and use it as a journal prompt tonight. Write out your answers, and then move onto the next thing I have to share with you below.
2 – Answer This: WHY Are My Fitness Goals Important to Me?
Now that you can accurately say, and stand clearly in WHO you are, it’s time to get down to the question of WHY.
Why does all of this stuff matter to you?
I mean, in all honesty, you can literally be doing anything with your life right now. Putting this energy towards something entirely different. But there is something far deeper calling you to care about and for YOU.
What is that thing?
But here’s something I do want you to realize. Your reasons WHY your fitness goals are important to you must go deeper than the surface.
What I want you to do is connect with the reasons beyond the physical. Get to the reasons that truly drive you. This way when the urge to quit comes up, you know exactly WHY you can’t quit.
For some, that may turn into the following:
Old way of approaching your goals – I want to lose 10 pounds to fit into these jeans again.
New way of approaching your goals through your “WHY” – I want to lose 10 pounds and fit into these jeans again because for me, that is a sign of major triumph. It will prove to me that not only am I capable of taking control of my health, but I can step in and take control of my life. That I’ve allowed myself to succeed, and get out of my own way. And that I took the steps to show myself that I am worth the effort, time and investment. Dropping those 10 pounds will be like proving to myself that anything I set my mind to, I can accomplish.
As you can see, it’s the same exact goal. Except, one hits the surface, the other goes deeper. The latter will always help you to understand why you started, and give that reason to never give up, and to keep reaching towards your success.
3 – Forgive Yourself and Grow
The final part in knowing your value is in being able to look at your past, acknowledge your mistakes, FORGIVE yourself, and then move on.
Trauma in any degree can be so debilitating – and affect our entire lives.
And trauma can be so many things. It doesn’t always have to be abusive or completely destructive. It could be subtle.
It could be those words that someone said to you about your body growing up. And how those words made you shift your perspective in a way that, even as an adult, you’re still affected by to this day.
Those words still haunt you, and can be at the root of why you’ve given up so many times on yourself.
Trauma could be the way you instilled coping mechanisms in response to your environment or events that you’ve experienced at various points in life.
Even though we feel like we’ve moved on from them, or even overcame them.
Sometimes there still are remnants hiding the the back of our psyche, and until we address them, they’ll haunt us forever.
It’s at this time that you’ll have to truly put up a mirror and face the true demons behind your self-sabotage.
That moment where you want to stop and go back to that person you once were, maybe that little girl or young teenager, and hold yourself.
Hold yourself as if you were hugging her and saying, “It’s alright. I am fine now. We can let go.”
I can be honest with you and say that I’ve had to have actual moments like this for myself.
And it was only then that I was able to find peace.
Of course there are some issues that might require you to seek professional help. But for your own sanity, I encourage you to do so, if that means taking care of you!
But realize that a part of finding your value, knowing that value, and truly giving reverence to your self-worth will take a lot of growing, and a lot of forgiving on your part.
Once you master that, you can finally set yourself free – and on the road to your long-term happiness and success.
I hope this message inspires you to simply keep reaching towards your best.
Let me know in the comments if you put this to use, and it gives you some clarity.