Is Self-Hate Ruing Your Fitness Journey? I Did a Powerful Live Chat on My YouTube on This Very Topic – As Well as Motivation to Move Past It and Come From a Place of Self-Love
I remember a time when I was in the throes of an eating disorder, the amount of just self loathing and self hate that I had for my body was absolutely intense and incredible.
Looking back on it now, it kind of pains me to think that I ever saw myself in that kind of light.
And this is something that a lot of women deal with to be quite honest.
And could you blame us?
The standards of beauty today mostly glorify one singular look. And that standard is something that many of us can’t even live up to realistically.
If we want to be completely honest with ourselves, feelings of self loathing and self heat are ingrained in us in childhood.
I remember the 1st time I became consciously aware of my body happened when I was probably no more than 8 or 9 years old.
A cousin of mine, whom I looked up to, pointed out to me one day that I didn’t have a thigh gap.
Yet, she did.
And I’d always seen her as being very beautiful. So to hear her say this to me crushed me.
And at the same time it unknowingly lead me down a pathway of disordered eating, body dysmorphia, and doubt in my own beauty as a young girl – and eventually as a woman.
And to be honest, it wasn’t the only thing that led me down this crazy rabbit hole of self-hate.
Growing up as a black girl with an athletic shape, who wanted nothing more than to be a ballerina, kind of had a major play on me as well.
Couple that with the fact that I was in the entertainment industry, and involved in modeling. I was simply set up to fail in the area of finding love for self from the start.
It wasn’t until I started bodybuilding and lifting weights seriously that I began to overcome this period. So in a way fitness saved my life…
The more I learned about the body…
The more I learned about how it functioned…
The more I learned how to scope and mold it into the perfect physique in my own mind…
The less anxious I became about eating, how I looked, and what others thought about it.
So it’s ironic, in a way, how the very thing that could send me into a deeper downward spiral is the very thing that helped to save me.
But it took me stepping out and looking at fitness from a completely different perspective.
Not as something that I did because I hated myself or wanted to change myself, but instead as way to learn to love myself, and to take care of this one body that I have.
And that’s the message I want to share with you today.
To look at fitness from the perspective of doing it because it’s a way of fully loving and appreciating you.
To show up in the gym to work out and do it because you love the way it makes you feel.
Stronger, empowered, confident, ready to take on the world – but do it on your terms.
I hear about so many women who just hate going to the gym, they hate working out.
But at the same time, they’re not truly happy with where they are physically.
If you stop looking at it as a chore and start looking at it as just something that you do every day like breathing, eating, sleeping, walking…
That’s when the shift starts to happen.
And the shift that happens is one that allows you to embrace this lifestyle because is the 1 opportunity that you get to extend your life, to slow down aging, and to truly feel confident in your own skin.
We are often our own worst enemies In this process.
We self sabotage in many aspects of our lives.
But you have to make that choice whether you want to continue to perpetuate that, or if you wanted change it.
When I made the decision to change – that is when everything for me started to take off. Physically, mentally emotionally spiritually and more…
So you might wanna ask the next question which is, “How do you get to a point of loving yourself?”.
How do you stop hating yourself?
I think it’s a step-by-step process.
It’s gonna take you being very introspective about your life. It’s gonna take you being honest with yourself pulling off the band-aid, so to speak.
One of the things I do with my clients, when they come to me with these feelings of self loathing and self hatred, is to get them to shift their mindset so they appreciate where they are in the present.
Even as they work diligently towards the future of what they will become.
So in essence it’s about embracing you – right here, right now, with all of your flaws.
And to stop looking at your flaws as something that holds you back, or brings you down.
Look at them as parts of where you are right now, that you are working to change.
When a client begins with me on her fitness journey, the next thing that I do is ask her not only what her goals are, but why they mean something to her.
To really get to the deep intrinsic meaning behind why she wants to lose weight, what does it mean to fit into her close again. Or what does it really mean to start to take control of her fitness Life.
And moreover, how is that going to impact the rest of her life.
When she is crystal clear about that, you can easily create the right training program.
Create a meal plan.
And then give her the right tools to teach her how to not only reach those goals, but to maintain them permanently.
But the fight to shift her mindset does not end there.
Staying introspective going deep with journaling, using meditation as a means to stay connected to her reasons why, and working through all the mental mind taffy that’s been holding her backup to this point, is also a crucial part of the process.
And it’s something that I really encourage you to explore.
You’ve got one life to live and 1 body to live in, period!
Why spend another day, another hour, another minute… Living this 1 precious life filled with all of this self hate on your heart, when you can (and should) do something about it.
I encourage you to start to let those demons go.
And yes it’s going to take time, and is going to take reprogramming the way you think.
But it’s something that has to happen, in order for you to see true changes.
Again, I can say these things to you because I’ve been there before, I know what it’s like.
And just like a regular human being, I’ve suffered mentally and emotionally in this game of taking care of my health.
But even I was able to come out on the other end. And I know that you can too.
Here’s what I wanna do to help you out with that period.. I created a special master class called Your Best Body Yet.
And it’s not that fluffy stuff that most other fitness professionals or are trainers tell you. This is all science, no BS, no gimmicks, no fads.
What I’m going to teach you in this masterclass is going to help you to get onto the right track, and to approach your fitness from place of self love and self care.
Because at the end of the day, it’s not just a new diet or new training program, those are just the Band-Aids. And if you’re only addressing that, it’s like you’re putting a band-aid over a gaping wound.
Let’s stitch it up, and give you the tools you need to start to love yourself every single day, and feel confident in your own skin.
You deserve it.
The class is about 80 minutes of your time you were going to have an in depth conversation about what you need to do next to create your best body ever.
And those are things that you need to do outside of just changing your training and nutrition.
I’m going to tell you about for a crucial shows that you need to make right now, and can apply right now.
And if what I had to share with you speaks to you, I’m offering you an opportunity to come on to the phone talk to me about your goals and what you feel are currently holding you back.
It’s my pleasure and honor to help you, and it see you reached the absolute pinnacle of your own success and potential.
I’ll see you in class.