HOT TAKE: PEOPLE CARE MORE ABOUT YOUR PHYSIQUE THAN YOU THINK.
I found myself thinking about that on the eve of my 47th birthday.
And honestly, even writing “47” feels a little wild because I almost never talk about my age online.
But I’m grateful for it.
I’m grateful to be here. I’m grateful for what my body has carried me through. And lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it actually means to take care of yourself as a woman moving deeper into her 40s.
Because something changes.
Not just your body.
Your reasons change.
What Fitness Meant to Me Then
When I was younger, I cared much more about what people thought.
I wanted to look good. I wanted to turn heads. I wanted to be attractive.
There was ego involved, and I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
I also became an IFBB Pro Women’s Physique competitor and competed at the Olympia level. I know what it feels like to pursue an extreme level of physical conditioning and have your physique become a major part of your identity.
And I’m incredibly grateful that I’ve trained for most of my life. There is something very satisfying about realizing that decades of work actually matter.
But at 47, I’m not interested in recreating the body I had at the height of my competitive bodybuilding career.
What does being in the best shape of my life mean now?
The Best Shape of Your Life Can Change
I think we get trapped by this idea that our “best body” belongs somewhere in the past.
Maybe it was the body you had at 25. Maybe it was before children. Maybe it was before perimenopause. Maybe it was before an injury, a stressful season, a career change, caregiving, menopause, or simply life doing what life does.
But what if the best shape of your life isn’t behind you?
What if you simply need a new definition of “best”?
For me, it means strength. Resilience. Mobility. Health. Energy. Confidence in what my body can do.
And the ability to show up fully for the life I’ve been given.
That matters more to me now than chasing somebody else’s standard of what a woman my age is supposed to look like.
Watch the Full Video
I go much deeper into this conversation in my newest Redefining Bodybuilding video:
Fit, Fine & Feminine Over 40
Click here to watch the full video on YouTube.
Why Are Women So Uncomfortable With Aging?
There is a strange contradiction in the way our culture talks to women about aging.
We are told to age gracefully. But apparently not visibly.
Gray hair? Hide it.
Wrinkles? Fix them.
Body changing? You must be “letting yourself go.”
And yet, if a woman works hard to maintain her physique, muscle, beauty, or appearance, she can also be accused of trying too hard to stay young.
So which one is it?
Eventually, I think we have to stop asking permission.
I’ve been wrestling with this myself as I decide whether I want to allow my gray hair to continue growing in.
Maybe I will. Maybe next week I’ll dye it.
The point is that I want that decision to belong to me.
I don’t want to make choices because I’m afraid someone will discover that I’m aging.
I am aging. That is biological reality. And considering the alternative, it is also a tremendous blessing.
You Are the Standard
One of the biggest realizations I’ve had is that I am no longer particularly interested in fitting into somebody else’s standard.
You are the standard of your own life. I am the standard of mine.
That doesn’t mean we stop challenging ourselves.
It doesn’t mean we stop caring about our appearance.
And it certainly doesn’t mean that wanting to look fit, feminine, muscular, athletic, lean, beautiful, or attractive somehow becomes inappropriate once we cross 40.
I reject that completely.
But there is a difference between taking care of yourself and desperately chasing youth.
At this stage of my life, fitness has become much more closely connected to agency.
Can I move well? Can I remain strong? Can I recover? Can I do the things I want to do? Can I show up for the people I love? Can I pursue the work I believe I’m called to do? Can I live with energy instead of simply dragging myself through my days?
Those questions matter.
And they are part of why strength training becomes more important, not less, as women get older.
What Does Your Body Say About You?
This is the question I want you to sit with.
People are going to notice your body.
But I don’t mean that in an objectifying way.
I want you to go deeper.
What is your body communicating about how you live?
What story are you writing through the way you care for yourself?
Maybe your body tells a story of strength. Maybe it tells a story of rebuilding. Maybe it tells the story of a woman who spent years putting everyone else first and finally decided she belonged on her own priority list.
Maybe it tells a story of resilience after illness, injury, divorce, menopause, grief, motherhood, burnout, or simply losing yourself for a while.
Maybe it says:
I came back.
I kept going.
I learned how to take care of myself.
I stopped abandoning myself every time life became difficult.
That is a very different conversation from simply asking what number is on the scale.
Fitness Should Help You Live Your Life
This is one of the most important things I try to teach the women I coach.
We are not simply trying to get through another diet. We are not simply trying to lose ten pounds. We are not simply collecting workouts.
We are building something.
Your training, nutrition, recovery, habits, mindset, and body composition should ultimately support your ability to live your life.
I want the women I work with to become stronger. More knowledgeable. More confident. More resilient. More capable of making intelligent decisions about their own bodies.
Because fitness should expand your life. It shouldn’t consume it.
The Question I Want You to Answer
Take a few minutes and really think about this:
What does your body say about you today?
And what do you want it to say?
What does being visibly strong mean to you in this decade of your life?
How has that changed from what strength, fitness, or beauty meant to you 10 or 20 years ago?
And perhaps most importantly:
What story do you want to be able to tell through the effort you’re making right now?
Watch the full conversation here.
Then come back and tell me your answer.
And if you’re a woman who knows you want more from this next chapter of your fitness journey, not simply another diet or another temporary transformation, I’d love to talk with you.
We can look at where you are now, what you want your body and your life to look like next, and what kind of training, nutrition, and coaching strategy can actually help you get there.
Schedule a complimentary Clarity Call.
You are not finished because you’re getting older.
You are still becoming.
