It’s the number that haunts me and follows me everywhere. And it’s been the same pattern for weeks. Months.
They say that when you see repeated patterns of numbers, it means something. The universe is trying to send you a message.
It’s called angel numbers.
This 3 sequence of numbers. This trinity that no matter what I do, I keep seeing the pattern everywhere.
So I looked it up, and this is what it means.
The number 4 is associated with determination, professionalism, and hard work, as well as completion and totality.
Angel Number 444 asks that you pay attention to your intuition and inner-wisdom as your connection with your angels and the angelic realm is very strong at this time. You are encouraged to continue on your current path as your drive and determination will lead to success and fulfilment.
Angel Number 444 is a message that you have nothing to fear in regards to your life, work and Divine life purpose. When you take positive action towards your highest intentions, aspirations and goals, the Universe works in your favour and helps you to establish solid foundations and advance you along your path.
Words of wisdom from a realm we cannot see?
But maybe a confirmation of the birth of a new cycle of life. And the reincarnation of a new reality, and my urge to get back to my passions to lead my life.
2020 – A Return to What Drives Me
I’ve never been the type of person who sits around and waits for life.
I’ve always had a dream, a goal and a plan.
The last 5 years since I stopped competing, dancing, and acting professionally, I’ve been in this limbo of sorts.
An interesting journey of self discovery and growth. A darkness at some points where I couldn’t see the light.
And from that, I went into a stage I call cocooning.
Like I rolled into this ball of a hard shell, and my body turned into mush as I ripped my soul raw.
I took moments to discover my why in life. My what’s next. My what the fuck have you been doing… And now…
And I came to some interesting conclusions for that answer…
I’m Stepping Back On Stage in 2020
Yes you read that right.
After 5 years of protest. After taking almost half a decade off from the madness that was my life in bodybuilding, I decided to give it a go again.
I’m not sure which division just yet, but I might be leaning towards wellness.
I feel like the pursuit now is different for me.
It’s no longer about chasing a pro card. I’ve got one.
It’s no longer about getting to the Olympia. Yeah, that would be amazing but… I’ve done that.
What it’s now about for me is a game of pure inspiration.
It’s about inspiring myself to continue to push my body and my mind, and to have something to strive for.
Let’s face it… Ladies, I’m middle aged. I’m 40 years old. And although at times I seriously question my ability to adult, I embrace reluctantly that time waits for no one.
That doesn’t mean I have to hit the wall at 2000 miles an hour, or look a hot flaming mess along the way.
Hell no, I’m going to preserve this body and my ability to remain healthy as long as I can.
And for me, that means having something greater to strive from in my fitness life – let alone life itself – is crucial.
I think what I have in my hands is an opportunity to help women to redefine aging and maturing through fitness.
And that’s partly what this new fitness journey is about for me.
I need something to drive my life and give me a deeper purpose. But do it in a way that will keep me inspired personally.
Dipping Back Into My Creativity
So getting back into the IFBB ring is one part…
Honing my creative passions is another.
I’m retired from dance. And at this age, there are no real options of going back, FOR ME.
I mean, yes TECHNICALLY speaking, I know that if I were to pick up, go to NYC for a few months to audition, I’d probably easily land a commercial job, maybe a national tour of a Broadway show, or even maybe even something in the chorus of a Broadway musical or something.
If I called up my old agent here in LA, and asked to be sent out for some commercial dance stuff, sure they could get me in the room.
But really, the way my body is set up now… Whew chile, nope. I lost a lot of my flexibility as I put on muscle and started competing. And my passion to chase a dance career ended over a decade ago.
But I still love to move.
And I’ve found other ways to create as well.
Painting. Writing. Photography.
In 2020, I’m going to tap into my creative side by way of writing once again.
I have a few books in me, fitness related, that I’ve already started to plot down to get out.
With so many resources to be able to self publish, the sky’s the limit.
What’s Your Next Chapter?
The beautiful thing about life is that it’s cyclical.
That there is always room and opportunity to grow. Evolve. Develop.
But so few of us actually take that opportunity to do it. Follow our heart and take action.
One of the things that I hope you get from following my personal journey is that I never stop evolving.
I never stop allowing myself to get uncomfortable and to let that move me towards incredible change.
So my question is for you, post below in the comments…
What’s next for you in 2020?
What are you going to plunge your flag into and say… Veni Vidi Vici.
I came. I saw. I conquered.
Claim it loudly below.